I dont understand why. Sure yes I have youtube, and I have gotten a few followers because of amazing help from my amazing friends. But when people say they look up to me, it scares me because I know that I no good. Yes I am a nice person and I always try to help people. But secretly I am falling apart.
I have stopped tending to my youtube at the moment due to some trouble I have been having. I have recently been diagnosed as depressed. And I had been seeking help for it. I have seen a therapist, I went twice. My second visit though, it didn't go to well. She upset me so bad I didn't want to go back. I am also on medication, which isn't working to well for me so I have to change it.
I've started keeping to myself now, I stopped writing here, I barely talk to people, I have just kept to myself and shut others out. I guess because I didn't want people to know, and because I didn't want people to feel bad for me. Because thats not what I want, I don't want people to see me differently. I still want them to see that good side of me. Not this me that is falling apart.
The only reason I am writing this right now, is well because a) its a form of therapy for me, and b) because I know there are many people out there who feel as if they aren't good enough, and many people suffer depression and feel alone, and this, this is for them. To know that you are not alone.
Yesterday was Self-Injury Awareness Day, and for anyone out there who is hurting themselves, please please see someone about it. Please seek help. I've known a few people who have self-harmed to deal with things. Its hard, and I understand that.
This is my message for the day. You are not alone<3
0 comments:
Post a Comment